somewhere

lay all your dreams down on the tree's leaf.
close your eyes tight and find something 
from within, and you want to hold that just right.
don't let the world scare you and let you down.
all you need to see, is all you need, what you 
never had before: even in a daydream.
no one has ever given you what you need.
let me help you, i can show you what you've 
missed.

i've always loved rob thomas

today's mood

when listening to Hozier.

i feel amazing and touched listening to this song.
my soul cries out the truth, read between the lyrics.
my eyes was wide as can be, this is real life and i'm free.
free for this time right now and nothing can stop me.
i can feel the power of the music through the soles of my feet.
how words together in sentences can touch your heart.
the way they blend together on this rainy January evening,
when you can relate to the whole song instruments and all.

no.

since day one, i've never felt young.
my soul is as old as blues on a sunny day.
the world, it isn't for me, i don't feel safe.
humans make me upset and scare me.
the world, alone, and stripped down,
that can be very intimidating.

with a hat.

something so precious about you.

the feeling between us is raw and broken.

your soul touches mine, but only once.

a sword in your left hand. 

in your right, you hold my bare heart.

dead to you, my love is inside it, alive.

if you can open the doors to my heart,

you can see the love pour out.

his love is bare. 

My soul is warm.

I just crushed a bug.

Sidewalks for us.

The cracks are dark.

Clouds rush in.

Smell of Salt in the air.

My soul is still warm. 

Natural habitat

Beyond the birds and the bees is where you can find me.

Nothing can compare to the sweet sound of bees humming, 

Or birds chirping. Nothing in the world can compare to such beauty.

Secrets sent from the mushroom man.

Remember the trails we walked upon with our bare feet? our bare soul?

Our lungs so full, we can barely breathe.

Strip down to your natural shell, where you were born from.

Stones in the middle of our trail, our feet search farther.

Looking for something between a river and a rabbit hole.

Soon enough, the time will come where the mice cheer and

the alligators fly. Near is the tulip that cast a shadow of light.

The grass between our toes, that grows, that grows, that grows.

Comes to the human, only with time, great love for the Earth.

Our Mother, so blind, she knows about you. 

Humanity speaks, as her lips are bone dry. 

What will happen in the morning
When the world it gets so crowded
That you can't look out the window in the morning
And what will happen in the evening
In the forest with the weasel
With the teeth that bite so sharp
When you're not looking in the evening
And all the friends that you once knew
Are left behind, they kept you safe and so secure
Amongst the books and all the records of your lifetime
What will happen, in the morning
When the world it gets so crowded
That you can't look out the window in the morning
Hey, take a little while to grow your brother's hair
Now take a little while to make your sister fair
And now that the family
Is part of a chain
Take off your eyeshade
Start over again
Now take a little while to find your way in here
Now take a little while to make your story clear
Now that you're lifting your feet from the ground
Weigh up your anchor and never look 'round
Let's sing a song for Hazey Jane
She's back again, in my mind
If songs were lines in a conversation
The situation would be fine

sunday night

why does everyone make fun of Robert Frost?
i have a crush on my English Professor, i think. 
the way his words don't make sentences,
reminds me of love and a time of peace.
his mouth speaks like velvet across my pale skin. 
as we hear the rain, it's coming down sideways. 

the city light. 

seven points, that rise to the south.
rivers that run down earth's spine.
butterflies come from Mexico,
they have a secret to tell us.
her silhouette reminds me of July.
don't fall, quick catch yourself.

oh how they go.

the tears.
they fall.
down her cheek.

rain hits the roof.
the dog barks.
my mind is wandering.

cut the line,
to keep time.
safe in my pocket.

meet the river man.
he plays a banjo. 
he sets me free.

no time to choose. 

would you love me in the winter?
i hope you'd make love to me till i die.
the day we don't see each other again,
is the same day the ocean takes over the sea.
sitting in the top of a tree, I can feel the
breeze, so sweet. the sea speaks to me
as i wait for the sunrise i see a shadow.
the man in the dark is what they called him.

boyd's vest tho...fringe yasssss...

poem.

i don't understand right from wrong,
we can't tell left from right.
the violin will say goodnight
as the guitar awakes the soul.

yummy........

walking out the door.

she caused the wound.
where the map meets my heart.
don't worry i know he's watching me.
turning the color red, red like blood.
she holds back, before he enters.
chains behind us, the people speak.
closed life, behind doors.
don't worry, she says.
I am not done yet.
the sun will set after we spill our souls
another day passes and my body has holes.

 

a very small poem.

twisted sunflowers, like she twisted her body around his soul.
mistaken for an angel, her delicate lips will hold secrets of loneliness.
where does this love come from? a shadow as black as his soul, weeps.

poem for birds.

green glass work lamp,

to the right.

flowers that are dead,

fill the bowl to my left.

lonely, my eyes wander

to the poster on my left.

a small child with curly hair

stands and waits for a response.

she wears what looks like a silk

dress with a note in hand. 

standing on a chair.

this child could scare you.

bought this piece of art for

one dollar, at the flea market. 

three beans and beats behind me.

me and you something about us.
together we collect imperfections in the flowers.
we collect all the thoughts your mother says allowed.
and put them in a pocket for a rainy day.
sitting in prison is listening to no music.
ask for one piece of paper and one pen.
tell me your favorite music artist.
does she have brown eyes?
is he older than time? 
the time ticks away as our minds wander.
our minds meet somewhere in the middle,
in between a pond and a rose thorn.
i tell you we don't have time for lunch.
later you take me home, we dance the tango.
the moonlight dances with us, on the wood floors.
honey, ask me how I been.
I heard a little something from the devil.
but you know I can't believe him. 

electing strange perfections in any stranger i choose

only see blue now.

stop holding back, expand your wings.
deep breath in, lift your chest to the sky.
breathe less, breathe deeper and slower.
your eyes should stay closed, seeking light.
the mind will come to it's safe place.
you will see your real friends here.
they will show you the world's reality.
the scary things, and the love for human kind.
the silence screams in the back of her mind.
waves that hit you like a glass of lemons.
drops that fall, between our hearts and
her hands. her hands where love once
lived. Now the world has seen the evil.
we can't take it in, leopard skin.
ashes, ashes and the world falls down.

don't know where this came from. 

the texture of your hair
and the nickel in your pocket.
more and want, all she can feel.
tell me, what isn't bad for the soul?
i want to make you laugh, you see
a little bit of purple in your life.
i need to make it home soon.
the fire will startle my cat.
oh, oh,  my love is on the doormat.
don't hold those seats for us.
she can see the cold in your eyes.
don't say you want someone.
green lamps that are antiques.
make me love you, like December.
come home to my mouth now.
you will be happy all the time. 

the letter jay. 

slow and steady
in and out.

upside down belly button
a heart split into two.

flames come from the right.
laughs from the left.

the bass is underground.
bottles scattered on the floor.

a day in a cat's life.

yawn.
stretch.
lick your belly.

yawn.
stretch.
stare at the sky.

yawn.
stretch.
walk to food bowl.

Four minute kiss that I miss.

The history behind our love

Opens my mind to see

The truth.

Stupid notes and coffee.

The newspaper smells good.

Love is written all over the world.

On our faces, our windows and

Our graves. Don’t let the grass

Grow too high. Remember I

Liked to wear long socks with

My short dresses. And sneakers

With the dress. Birds fly through

Side street and make it to my

Second story window. The

Snow will come 2 days from yesterday.

And we won’t get mail.

My neighbor has some really

Nice black shoes. I want to

Marry her daughter.

She has the most beautiful eyes.

I locked my keys in the car 

With my dead heart.

balance
i feel asleep in your sky.
love escapes my mind.
your heart is tender like mine.
don't hear me?
close your eyes and breath slow.
come here dear, don't wonder why.
slither over let the smoke take your mind.
we made it to the other side.

smoking days away.

charcoal skin,
your smile remains mine.
don't leave so fast.
violins walk towards us 
as the horizon turns a deep color of
orange. this is real love. cherry pie 
tastes good only with you dear.

whiskey is good too.

time can change everything
i've been waiting for your taste.
the sun shines through our foggy blinds.
love lingers, kiss me while i'm a mess.
don't take what you have to your own 
grave. love remains the same. 
between you and i we used to see
the naked spirit dance. now i'm afraid of craving you
sweet as sugar. light reminds me of rain
dance with me naked in the rain.
we can see pure humanity, under the stars.
my heart is beating so fast.
my angel you fly above so high, my heart.
satisfy me by one kiss, don't scare me.
dark blues take the salt out of the ocean
and turn my skin inside out.
thirsty for your soul
open up let me in
i need you close please come back to me.

we don't even care.

your love will light the way
cry from the wolf
turn your heart to the east.
fear in his breathe. you can
see he is weak.
stay a full year here
with my caring heart
a new you will be here
diamonds are beautiful
and so are you.
so don't move far away
don't take the train
just sit down
and tell me everything good.
smoke cigarettes,
till the sun comes down.
the air is thick like your brown hair.
id be lying if i said i didn't love you.
fly to the moon meet me and daddy. 

a poem for you.

i want to be your man
i want to be the one you call
on that late January afternoon.
don't let the stars out of your
pocket & hold my hand
as we enter the galaxy of love.
luminous love will reach the
sky & we will see it shine.
i will always be your man.

the baby is drowning.

this man is so perfect.
keeping him in my front pocket.
i know i don't deserve this.
the life you have given me.
the love you have shown me &
stars you have handed to me.
love is written all over your tongue.
mystery sits in your eyes,
but tell me one thing.
you love my frail soul & will never 
let it go.the hardest part is to never stop.
don't tell lies, you will break me.
the truth is deep inside of you.
you can see my soul dance
after you light my fire.
the way you slip your fingers
through my silk purple hair. 
i want to live this way forever.
with peaches in our air
and happiness worn on our faces.

shadows of light dance.

throw your secrets to the ocean
dark deep and blue
the wind will take your mind before you have time
the sound of your shallow breathing will take you far.
the way your dreams come through as color,
you will see that again in the night.
don't worry too much, the future has no feelings.
the sky is clear and the stars are out to play.
real life or supernatural?
i can't tell anymore.

peace pagoda with my little sister.... summer 2017
 ....

i took these photos...

sad gurl.

i think i am obsessed with dead things.
dead flowers.
dead humans,
& dead bugs.
am i weird?
what is wrong with me?
i am obsessed with dead things.
my home is cluttered with dead flowers i save.
the dead flowers transform into my sad art projects.
my mind thrives on the idea of dead humans.
i plan my own funeral every other day.
i save dead bugs.
my dead fly collection is growing.
i am obsessed with everything dead.
i want to know the history behind all dead things.
where did the flowers grow out of the earth?
who started their life?
did this fly come from a different town?
where are his parents?
dead humans amaze me.
what did they do before they died?
did they feel death approaching or was it fast?
i want to be like them and i hope one day
someone saves my dead bones and dries them
out for their art project.
i think i am obsessed with dead things.

Tension (Interlude)

in love with this new album <3

all she does is cry.

Damage from the sun, my soul seeks for your precious love.

The new me doesn’t like the feeling of emptiness.

Empty means black and black means she’s sad.

She seeks for peaceful melodies and fields of sunflowers.

The way Connecticut boys come and go, they don’t love me.

I want love and I need it right now. Not just a taste.

I need it all.

reminds me of september rain

the sound of your trumpet makes me want to smile

the way waves come in and go makes me want to cry

the way you smile reminds me of my dead father.

the way we see our human bodies is strange and amusing.

there are many things in this world that makes my mind wander

the way the newspaper is placed in the plastic bag, left at the foot of my front door.

the way the bus driver greets us when we board the bus.

i love the way you look at me on a rainy day, 

that reminds me of September Rain.

LoveLand is on FIRE.

Love ends with a kiss and you start a fight

Is this real?

What is happening?

The walls of our love land come crashing down

I can see the tears, they roll down your check.

Do you love me anymore?

I feel like I’ve had it all.

I feel like I’ve had enough now

I want to know the real me.

I can’t see that in between the flames

Of hate and lies.

The soul of your mother is dead

Behind my head.

The hole in my wall is here because

You made me upset.

Love is fragile, and you throw my heart around.

You need to want love.

You need to want me.

Show that this matters to you and we shall see. 

so fucking gorgeous.....mhmm

If I fall, can you pull me up?

Is it true, your watching out

And when I'm tired, do you lay down with me?

In my head so I can sleep without you?

Hey, hey

Without you there's holes in my soul

Hey, hey

Let the water in

Where ever you've gone?

How, how, how?

I just need to know

That you won't forget about me

Where ever you've gone?

How, how, how?

I just need to know

That you won't forget about me

Lost through time and that's all I need

So much love, then one day buried

Hope you're safe, 'cause I lay you leaves

Is there more than we can see?

Answers for me

And hey, hey

Without you there's holes in my soles

And hey, hey

Let the water in

Where ever you've gone?

How, how, how?

I just need to know

That you won't forget about me

Where ever you've gone?

How, how, how?

I just need to know

That you won't forget about me

And I get lonely without you

And I can't move on

And I get lonely without you

I can't move on

Move on

Where ever you've gone?

How, how, how?

I just need to know

That you won't forget about me

Poem.

I confess your skin knocks me to my knees

The smile that reads your lips will stay in my mind forever

The way love shines through those green eyes

That makes my heart sing

The way your fingers caress my thigh

That makes my soul rise

Rise to the heavens full of blue love 

The gates will greet my heart and I know it.

OH SEVEN.

All that’s left is crumbs

Crumbs of my dead soul.

Stop with the lies.

You know I want to die.

The calendar full of my mistakes.

Lay down in a meadow full of daises

The sun will rise in the east.

Indians will dance us to Tuesday

While the birds sing us to sleep.

Nothing worries me here.

Nothing seems to get in.

When my human body touches 

The earth bare, this fills the soul.

feel like shit.

I feel like im getting sick,

Like the dog outside my window.

The black birds greet me half past 12.

The melody inside me is stuck.

I keep hearing it, I keep seeing it

But it’s stuck.

The butterflies come to the show

With their colors and their vibes.

I can see your wife, she is dead

In my arms and I don’t know why.

Will you come to help her?

Will you be able to wash away the tears?

Will you release her soul into this Earth?

Don’t know where my toes go.

And I don’t want to know your middle name.

I just don’t care anymore.