today at knowlton hill 

mood

 list of things to study with him
(putting it here so i never forget)

1. mushrooms
2. water birds
3. birds
4. types of grass
5. tree bark & structure
6. tree leaves
7. sky & clouds
8. winter animals
9. marshland animals
10. moon phases
11. bugs & insects 
12. winter birds 
13. butterflies
14. constellations   

this is for real

taste a sip of this
shake that
don't let the demons 
back in

when the sunlight
comes in

let it in

when the door
opens

just walk in, torr


it's time to take over

do it for yourself


bring it back

all the way back

when love didn't have to be so difficult
where you could be honest and it actually
meant something

why are you sitting here

love, dead as the front lawn
don't know where to go
but who the fuck cares anymore

just go out and fly

alone. 
it will be worth it

who is this torrye I have become?

I took the dog out last night

But I forgot to bring him in

While my house phone was

Ringing and I’m bringing

Forward,

only love

To eat and 

    to think for me

For I don’t know  this

Woman that stands

Dressed in my clothes

Licking the mirror

Separating her toes

 Who is this woman ?

      Is she me?

The old me?

                           The new?

I can’t seem to find my pocket Thesaurus

burn like no other, 

     keeping feelings bottled up for my lover

who hasn’t spoken a word to me 

in over a decade 

honestly the feeling of regret eats my mind,

but nothing feels better than a knife to my tongue

for secrets have slept and my time has come

to dance on the sun

to sleep with the lions

to paint my thoughts

to scratch his teeth

to trace his lips

to swim naked into the full moon

to sing songs of nonsense at midnight

to laugh until my eyes cry

  until my teeth hurt

just to go to bed and do it all again

poem

to ask you to hold my intentions 

took a lot of guts,

    i know this is your home 

and i am but a guest

  let me be honest 

i couldn’t lie one bit,

i’m a bit selfish and i

    can’t seem to find my grip,

my mind.

i ask for your help 

   because the smile on your

face reminds of a place i call home

 shower thoughts

Standing on top

  Of the building

Above the city

Above the earth

Wearing only love

To confess my love

To each man

Each woman

Standing below

      Each individual

Makes my heart sing

Makes my soul set fire

And never let go 

I want

To kiss the man in the black suit

I want to hug the man in blue

I want to kiss the gorgeous goddess

We all know whom is in this room

    I want to make love to the beautiful artist

Who sits so slender in the moon light

     My love belongs to all

Men 

to all the women

I can’t control it but

I must admit

   love is the only way I see

I can dance and be free without

A worry

The Lumineers: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert

 you own my soul

for it's been yours

since day      o n e 

When it feels so good

Standing in the middle

   Of this    f i r e

Not one    d e s i r e

      To escape

    This chaos

This feeling of

Almost hopelessness

  But somewhere in between

     Warm and l o v i n g

Where your fingertips

are wrapped around

My delicate heart

To h o l d it

To k i s s  it

A feeling  

           so exposed

  yet closer than

two souls      kissing

Need to rest

Looking for a place

   Maybe a s p a c e

Something deep

Deeper than the

Blues in the seas           

    The g r e e n s

In the forest

A hole maybe where

Nightmares can

      S l e e p

  Where I can throw

My fears

A dead body full of (h)ate

     C u r r e n t l y

Looking for a place

To hang these

 Brittle bones

     Cus these clothes

Hang heavy

    Over my body

 and 

I 

  have 

       grown sore

Too Much Is Never Enough

(for you

      i will live)
even if it's farther than time
we catch love with our
mouths wide open

to find the stars
to find the light

leading the way

  to places only you
HAVE BEEN


time traveling
(through time)
is far
but so close
when something farther than the
wind  could
    whisper
when you are near
when you are near
 closer than time
closer than time
can tell
crossing paths,
leaving sand
for bees
and time
for the alone

taking the time
to get closer


even if you are farther
than life
i still wish you could
taste this


( a whisper to the 
wind ) 

Miley Cyrus Performs 'Slide Away' | 2019 Video Music Awards

Once upon a time, it was made for us (for us)
Woke up one day, it had turned to dust
Baby, we were found, but now we're lost
So it's time to let it go

Move on, we're not 17
I'm not who I used to be
You say that everything changed
You're right, we're grown now

Closer than a

  (butter)fly wing

Strong(er) than the wind

Taking time to (re)create

(my)self and my mind

  Takin(g) all the love

I can receive

Bigger than tree(s)

   Watch as my heart

Continue(s) to

Bleed

backyard

when my body

is near

the white tree

i feel nothing

but peace

John Prine: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert

searching on
the little shore
for river rocks

as moss covers
most of the floor

i learn to
appreciate
thorns &
wet leaves

you know-
you always
     find a love for
things you
can't stand

throwing my worries 
to the river 
for i don't care anymore
when you find that space
when you know it's right
nothing else matters

silently standing
between two
old trees.
birds above,
communicating.
as i breathe:
slowly
i finally feel
at home-

 in the rain

finding solitude 
in the raindrops 
that hang from
this tree

Mister Magic

a whole fuckn viiibe right now

love lives in his eyes

Give my faith

To a rose in bloom

   Just to feel something true

Even if it’s for a second

     Time seems to slip

        Perhaps vanishes when

My heart feels fire

Hard to love, 
                love to give

But I know the

devotion

In my soul is

pure
like the sun that 
shines and 
the sea that
glistens
just 
to be 
free

The Isley Brothers - It's Your Thing (Audio)

NOW im really viiiiibin

Tell Me Something Good

only candles to light the way

Thank you for teaching me how to

Accept the feeling of being alone.

Before you, I needed a home

I needed to feel safe. I couldn’t

Stand to see myself, alone.

Before you, I needed courage.

I needed to feel accepted,

And loved. You’ve shown

Me what it’s like to care

For another human. I love

You for what you are,

But my heart bleeds

Every day and every night.
Just to hear your voice.

I wait and wait-
 for

What I don’t know,

Things don’t change

When they don’t want

To. But I know I

Have changed, I have

Evolved. Bloomed:

Into a beautiful flower.

Time has brought change

And I think it’s time for
me

To go
now

The Lumineers - Cleopatra (Live @ iHeart Radio)

And it hardened like my heart did when you left town
But I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant
Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around

1/2 of my life 

the best human i know
he gives me this feeling
i sure
can't describe
that starts in my toes
makes me shake my nose

it rattles my soul
gives fire to coal
turns rain into snow


gibran has fingers
that speak and
eyes

that can paint-

the sweet colors,
the pinks,

into the moon rise
unbutton that sweater
take a second to think
and wear those socks
FOR IT'S PAST FIVE O CLOCK

The Lumineers - Sleep On The Floor (Official Video)

If the sun don't shine on me today
And if the subways flood and bridges break
Will you lay yourself down and dig your grave
Or will you rail against your dying day

love on the sunset trail

today i ate his smiles and 
we danced to the moon
lord only knows 
where my soul
goes when
his voice touches my 
nose
but hell
i know i'm home

Cage The Elephant's Matt Schultz on the emotional risk of 'Social Cues'

“There are times in life where you worship the idea of being in love much more than

maybe loving the person you should be loving” matt schultz

  Unearth this girl

   Her soul

Her heart

Sunken in a

Rose garden

That had seen

Death

PROTECT YOUR FAVORITE LIES

ready 2 let this go

let the funeral bells

ring,

the procession

is to begin

the echo of sadness

drags us

trapped in a light

dust will settle

set our hands

in on the ground

dead like a cemetery

stone

moss sinking in 

creeping up

the sides,

too close to the fire

   I can feel the heat

   in my ribs

in my fingers

surrounding 

          my frozen heart

 

searching for time in between space and lines

to finally hang my clothes..

Cage The Elephant - Pinkpop 2019

right now

Ocean rocks

Smooth

Tumble

In and out

In and out

A world below

A world above

........

To be alone

In a sea full of souls

To touch the sun’s lips

Just to outline her smile

As we seek solitude

As we drift  into oblivion

Alone so nothing

Can distract this soul- 

can’t stop

A man in time but 

you can stop a man’s time on

his wristwatch

as my bones rattle,

 this skin has seen days and light

Stories that sit in each crevice

Of these hands

Nails to hold together

Skin that dresses these veins

Bones and blood

Together we can

  Rise in solitude

For my time has come

to be alone 

....with you

again-

As long as I am here

I am present in time

Here

I don’t mind the wait

I don’t mind

The silence

Silence cures

My weak soul

Recharges my body 

WHOLE for a new day

To be able to grow 

I can see you blooming (right in front of me)

I’ve been trying to find some space

    Trying to find some room

To let loose

Let my body touch the ground

Let my hair paint

           The wind in colors

I need to shake

My bones

    I need to shake

My brain

Been too sad for too long

Nothing like an end

To start a beautiful

Beginning

            ........ again

When the sun smells

  Like fresh roses

And the walls turn and spin

I know I have found myself

My spot, my room

To finally grow

As you silently watch me

                 bloom