list of things to study with him
(putting it here so i never forget)

1. mushrooms
2. water birds
3. birds
4. types of grass
5. tree bark & structure
6. tree leaves
7. sky & clouds
8. winter animals
9. marshland animals
10. moon phases
11. bugs & insects 
12. winter birds 
13. butterflies
14. constellations   


this is for real

taste a sip of this
shake that
don't let the demons 
back in

when the sunlight
comes in

let it in

when the door
opens

just walk in, torr


it's time to take over

do it for yourself


bring it back

all the way back

when love didn't have to be so difficult
where you could be honest and it actually
meant something

why are you sitting here

love, dead as the front lawn
don't know where to go
but who the fuck cares anymore

just go out and fly

alone. 
it will be worth it



who is this torrye I have become?

I took the dog out last night
But I forgot to bring him in
While my house phone was
Ringing and I’m bringing
Forward,
only love
To eat and 
    to think for me
For I don’t know  this
Woman that stands
Dressed in my clothes
Licking the mirror
Separating her toes

 Who is this woman ?
      Is she me?
The old me?
                           The new?
I can’t seem to find my pocket Thesaurus


burn like no other, 
     keeping feelings bottled up for my lover
who hasn’t spoken a word to me 
in over a decade 
honestly the feeling of regret eats my mind,
but nothing feels better than a knife to my tongue
for secrets have slept and my time has come
to dance on the sun
to sleep with the lions
to paint my thoughts
to scratch his teeth
to trace his lips
to swim naked into the full moon
to sing songs of nonsense at midnight
to laugh until my eyes cry
  until my teeth hurt
just to go to bed and do it all again


poem
to ask you to hold my intentions 
took a lot of guts,
    i know this is your home 
and i am but a guest
  let me be honest 
i couldn’t lie one bit,
i’m a bit selfish and i
    can’t seem to find my grip,
my mind.
i ask for your help 
   because the smile on your

face reminds of a place i call home

Monday


 shower thoughts

Standing on top
  Of the building
Above the city
Above the earth
Wearing only love
To confess my love
To each man
Each woman
Standing below

      Each individual
Makes my heart sing
Makes my soul set fire
And never let go 

I want
To kiss the man in the black suit
I want to hug the man in blue
I want to kiss the gorgeous goddess
We all know whom is in this room

    I want to make love to the beautiful artist
Who sits so slender in the moon light
     My love belongs to all
Men 
to all the women
I can’t control it but
I must admit

   love is the only way I see
I can dance and be free without
A worry

Friday


 you own my soul
for it's been yours
since day      o n e 

When it feels so good
Standing in the middle
   Of this    f i r e
Not one    d e s i r e
      To escape
    This chaos
This feeling of
Almost hopelessness
  But somewhere in between
     Warm and l o v i n g
Where your fingertips
are wrapped around
My delicate heart
To h o l d it
To k i s s  it
A feeling  
           so exposed
  yet closer than
two souls      kissing



Wednesday


Need to rest
Looking for a place
   Maybe a s p a c e
Something deep
Deeper than the
Blues in the seas           

    The g r e e n s
In the forest
A hole maybe where
Nightmares can
      S l e e p
  Where I can throw
My fears
A dead body full of (h)ate
     C u r r e n t l y
Looking for a place
To hang these
 Brittle bones
     Cus these clothes
Hang heavy
    Over my body
 and 
  have 
       grown sore

(for you

      i will live)
even if it's farther than time
we catch love with our
mouths wide open

to find the stars
to find the light

leading the way

  to places only you
HAVE BEEN


time traveling
(through time)
is far
but so close
when something farther than the
wind  could
    whisper
when you are near
when you are near
 closer than time
closer than time
can tell
crossing paths,
leaving sand
for bees
and time
for the alone

taking the time
to get closer


even if you are farther
than life
i still wish you could
taste this


( a whisper to the 
wind ) 

Miley Cyrus Performs 'Slide Away' | 2019 Video Music Awards



Once upon a time, it was made for us (for us)
Woke up one day, it had turned to dust
Baby, we were found, but now we're lost
So it's time to let it go
Move on, we're not 17
I'm not who I used to be
You say that everything changed
You're right, we're grown now

Friday


Closer than a
  (butter)fly wing
Strong(er) than the wind
Taking time to (re)create
(my)self and my mind
  Takin(g) all the love
I can receive
Bigger than tree(s)
   Watch as my heart
Continue(s) to
Bleed

Thursday

backyard

when my body
is near
the white tree
i feel nothing
but peace
searching on
the little shore
for river rocks

as moss covers
most of the floor

i learn to
appreciate
thorns &
wet leaves

you know-
you always
     find a love for
things you
can't stand

throwing my worries 
to the river 
for i don't care anymore
when you find that space
when you know it's right
nothing else matters

silently standing
between two
old trees.
birds above,
communicating.
as i breathe:
slowly
i finally feel
at home-
 in the rain

finding solitude 
in the raindrops 
that hang from
this tree

Saturday

love lives in his eyes

Give my faith
To a rose in bloom
   Just to feel something true
Even if it’s for a second
     Time seems to slip
        Perhaps vanishes when
My heart feels fire
Hard to love, 
                love to give
But I know the
devotion
In my soul is
pure
like the sun that 
shines and 
the sea that
glistens
just 
to be 
free



only candles to light the way


Thank you for teaching me how to
Accept the feeling of being alone.
Before you, I needed a home
I needed to feel safe. I couldn’t
Stand to see myself, alone.
Before you, I needed courage.
I needed to feel accepted,
And loved. You’ve shown
Me what it’s like to care
For another human. I love
You for what you are,
But my heart bleeds
Every day and every night.
Just to hear your voice.
I wait and wait-
 for
What I don’t know,
Things don’t change
When they don’t want
To. But I know I
Have changed, I have
Evolved. Bloomed:
Into a beautiful flower.
Time has brought change
And I think it’s time for
me
To go
now

The Lumineers - Cleopatra (Live @ iHeart Radio)



And it hardened like my heart did when you left town
But I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant
Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around
1/2 of my life 

the best human i know
he gives me this feeling
i sure
can't describe
that starts in my toes
makes me shake my nose

it rattles my soul
gives fire to coal
turns rain into snow


gibran has fingers
that speak and
eyes

that can paint-

the sweet colors,
the pinks,

into the moon rise
unbutton that sweater
take a second to think
and wear those socks
FOR IT'S PAST FIVE O CLOCK

The Lumineers - Sleep On The Floor (Official Video)



If the sun don't shine on me today
And if the subways flood and bridges break
Will you lay yourself down and dig your grave
Or will you rail against your dying day
love on the sunset trail

today i ate his smiles and 
we danced to the moon
lord only knows 
where my soul
goes when
his voice touches my 
nose
but hell
i know i'm home

Cage The Elephant's Matt Schultz on the emotional risk of 'Social Cues'





“There are times in life where you worship the idea of being in love much more than
maybe loving the person you should be loving” matt schultz



  Unearth this girl
   Her soul
Her heart
Sunken in a
Rose garden
That had seen
Death


ready 2 let this go

let the funeral bells
ring,
the procession
is to begin

the echo of sadness
drags us
trapped in a light

dust will settle
set our hands
in on the ground

dead like a cemetery
stone

moss sinking in 

creeping up
the sides,

too close to the fire
   I can feel the heat
   in my ribs
in my fingers
surrounding 
          my frozen heart


 


searching for time in between space and lines
to finally hang my clothes..


Ocean rocks
Smooth
Tumble
In and out
In and out
A world below
A world above


........
To be alone
In a sea full of souls
To touch the sun’s lips
Just to outline her smile




As we seek solitude
As we drift  into oblivion
Alone so nothing
Can distract this soul- 
can’t stop
A man in time but 
you can stop a man’s time on
his wristwatch
as my bones rattle,
 this skin has seen days and light
Stories that sit in each crevice
Of these hands
Nails to hold together
Skin that dresses these veins
Bones and blood
Together we can
  Rise in solitude
For my time has come
to be alone 
....with you
again-




As long as I am here
I am present in time
Here
I don’t mind the wait
I don’t mind
The silence
Silence cures
My weak soul
Recharges my body 
WHOLE for a new day
To be able to grow 






I can see you blooming (right in front of me)

I’ve been trying to find some space
    Trying to find some room
To let loose
Let my body touch the ground
Let my hair paint
           The wind in colors
I need to shake
My bones
    I need to shake
My brain

Been too sad for too long

Nothing like an end
To start a beautiful
Beginning
            ........ again

When the sun smells
  Like fresh roses
And the walls turn and spin
I know I have found myself
My spot, my room
To finally grow

As you silently watch me
                 bloom