poem

i swallow the sweet words 

that gently fall from the side of his mouth.

for just one second, in THIS space, i feel fine.

i can feel his warmth all around me. 

 

i want to publish a children's book so bad. if you are an illustrator please help!!!

*vibes*

 

a February poem 

(different version) 

i feel indifferent like

i belong in the in between.

              the spaces between

                w o r d s,

  the gap between the ripple,

a space like Earth, but different.

where i can see through the fog

   of stress and mess.

"im feeling pretty indifferent lately"

   i whisper to the pink hydrangea,

while the winter moon glistens. 

poem

 i sit and wonder
when things will feel like me again.
we all change, but 
    this feels ravenous. 
i can't stop the hot tears and sad thoughts- 
haunted by the idea of losing you 
because i can't speak lately.
  i wonder how to feel and if you still care.
wound so tight i can barley breathe,
please just hold my aged and changed soul.
let me scream till i bleed just to feel- just 

to feel something again.
   just to make sure i am alive. freedom from pain
built up inside. i'm wound too tight 
i can't remember to breathe. when 
i speak again can anyone 
hear me? i feel a mossy kind of invisible lately,
where even my loudest scream doesn't reach. 
pain written all over my amber eyes and even my own 
  (dead)  father can't seem to help.
rip my heart out. while
   cloves and citrus fill the air, warm.
and nothing stands still. 

and i continue to sit and wonder

when things will feel like me again.

Fiona Apple @ the Greek Theater - Left Alone

 February 13th 2021

don't go singing
feet up- into the 
angry mountains
   for the snow hasn't 
kissed midnight yet

don't go dancing
belly up- into the 
mellow sea 
for the fish haven't heard
from the dawn in centuries

don't go walking 
chin up- into the 
dry forest
for the branches haven't
felt rain since the sun 
rose