february 2026

i feel indifferent
i belong in the in between
the spaces between words
the gap between the ripples
a space like Earth but different.
a place where i can see through the fog
and mess.
    " i'm feeling pretty indifferent lately"
                                i whisper 

as i hold up a 
hydrangea to the sun

 for him

somedays i want to speak to you

but most days i want to 

hold you

 journal entry from last year

sometimes my mind thinks 
the only time 
i can live 
is if 
i give my soul away 

every fucking day
but,

i know will not survive. 

 poem

love is the worst 

for the ones who need it.
(who want it the most)
just trying to feel something 
inside that doesn't make me 
want to die
love is fucking awful
for the ones who need it the 
most. (want it). 

 oct~2025

i need to know if you even care for me.
i come crawling, dirt in my nails and blood 
dripping from my mouth.
i ask for forgiveness even though my soul is not wrong
but you make me beg.
i drag my knees: heavy, across the hardwood floors.
you could care less with your rings and your ego
filling you up too much.
you can't seem to find the edge.
you sit high with a puffed chest.
like lizards listen to you or men respect you. 
but here, where we cry and scream...
you still ask me, "what's your name"
    and now i know you haven't listened to a single
fucking word i've said over 

thousands of years. 

and how am i supposed to feel?

when all i see is fear.

 POEM

i feel like i'm constantly holding
my breath because if i make one tiny
noise, 
someone will come hounding.