i'm still thinking.

I sit here with another beer. 

I sit here on my porch. 

To the left of me, all I see is nothing. 

All I see is black. All I hear is thunder. 

Music playing in the background. 

My thoughts are floating in my brain space. 

My thoughts are trying to figure out what to say to you first.

 phone didn't ring when you left.

It sounds like death.

Quiet, creepy, weird.

I like it, but it is very 

strange silent right now.

The Queen's name is Irene.

Queen Irene

Oh how I wish I was as beautiful as you. 

Oh how I wish I was as elegant as you. 

Oh how I wish my nails matched my outfit like yours every day. 

Oh how I wish to look as flawless as you. Queen Irene. 

I bow down to your beautiful soul every night. 

Thank you for you kindness. 

Oh how I spend afternoons, dreaming to be as you. 

Oh, Queen Irene. 

typewriters in the shower.

My love for you grows on forever and ever every day I wake up. 
It grows as far as the tiger's whiskers in the middle of hot July. 
I want to love you in the Arizona desert with only socks on and we will listen to Funk all night. 

I want to take you far, far away and love you for longer than 10 Miles long. And I want to bring you to the gardens in the bottom of my cherry red heart, so you can see that angels do really exist. 

And so you can see that happiness exists as long as you make it reality. And I want to take you to Europe and smoke cigarettes with you out our balcony window and sip white wine before breakfast. 


And I want to teach you how to dance in the rain of the African Forest with the water chipmunks and toucans. 

Gram

I don’t want to make you sad, I want to make you happy.

 As happy as the rolling hills in the distance. 

I want you to know my soul smiles when you are happy. 

I want to help you become the best existence you can be.

I want to you to be a beautiful soul and remembered as one as well. 

I hope you tell me when you die. I hate not knowing. Please, I am here if you need me. 

I just want you to be smiling and enjoying this beautiful Earth. 

I know you know this, I just had to write it. 

don't cry, baby.

don’t get mad when i tell you i won’t live a long life here. i’m just preparing you. don’t get sad. you were the one who fell in love. don’t get upset, i’m just expressing the near future. i don’t want you to be down. i want to do everything with you. so please just exist with me every day, sad or not. please just do random ass things with me. and please just fall in love with me again, every day.