d o n t e v e n k n o w a n y m o r e 

Eating moldy blueberries and writing

Writing about the love I never got

The love I never had.

When time has been spent, 7 years to be exact,

Love should come more naturally, more mature.

When the Earth sinks into the dried ocean, where

Will the stars tinkle at night?

I just want to know if I’m doing this right.

Is love supposed to feel like this? Feel like nothing?

The words off your tongue, don’t mean a damn thing.

Emptiness has become my new friend, the color black

Owns my soul and my shattered heart.

I thought this was love, I thought I was doing it right.

Things do have to end at some point, but don’t end

When the bells are about to start playing.

Or when the babies start to cry.

You’ve already left me here to die,

So just tell the birds to tuck me in

And go.

Give me time to recharge

Being me, being who I am, my soul needs time to recharge.

Busy at work like a little bee, trying to save the happiness inside your body.

To be whole, to be one, to just love and be free. 

My soul has a lot to do in one day.

Helping others achieve the great sense of life and a reason to smile.

Love gives me a bellyache.

When I was sixteen, things made sense, my love was real, the world was bright.

Today, things get worse then better then turn for the unknown. Between sidewalks

And tree house sleepovers, nothing compares to our love. So raw, so beautiful, just

The thought of you could bring me to my knees. Tears roll down my face, just to

Think about you on this Spring Monday. Do you remember my favorite color? Or

My birthday? I think I still have some notes you wrote me and I’m sure they’ll be 

Better in the trash. To dream of things that once existed, gives me a bellyache.

Love More.

Fears fall to the floor, while tears follow.

All I want to do is love you and I want

To feel true love. Feel the rain fall on

Our noses at 2 am. Stay up all night to

Watch the sunrise then go to bed until

The afternoon. Love lives here, but it’s

Hard to find. Under the fear of life,

The fear of death. Don’t be afraid of

Anything- that’s what holds you back.

Five feet away from me, my heart sings

For your breath and you just stare.

I thought I could find love in the

Music, something that I could feel

After listening to it. I thought I could

Find love in the old man that lives next

Door, he’s too far gone. I know love is

Here, I can taste it just on the tip of my

Tongue. Don’t be afraid and just spread

Your wings. Please just trust me-

Take my hand and let’s dance into

The night together.

For You, I Live.

I won’t give up on you even if the ocean is crushing down, I will always be by your side

You can find me riding high, right next to you even when the sun don’t shine.

I will follow you even through the darkest, thickest of your days baby.

When you need something bright, I will be your light even if my mind is dark.

I will be there when you call, even before the birds wake, I will be here for you.

Don’t feel sad or afraid my darling, the light is in your pocket you see.

Just feel the love and follow me I promise you I know where I am going.

I love you until the Earth’s End.

 
Where does your First Love go?

People say the Third Love is your last Love. What about the First time you fall in Love? What about the beautiful rush of a summer’s breeze that once touches your lips? How about the first time we starred into an abyss together, and we watched our souls dance into the galaxy? Before you even touched my body, your eyes touched my soul. Deeper than anything else, I knew I was at Home. I miss our voice, the smell of your hair on a summer’s night. How can people say the Third Love is your last Love?

Why do I still dream of us?

To think of you brings back to laying down on your living room floor listening to Electric Ladyland while the birds come in and out, the Earth takes a deep breath and lets it out with a gentle midnight kiss.

Why do you keep coming around? To leave me with nothing, no answers, no unkempt love. You just left me there, to die with knives in my thighs and a cold winter’s breeze in my eyes.

No explanation why. The petals upon my heart rose, weep in thought of what we used to be. In thought of the love you gave me, but never really knew how.

I still cry at the Full Moon on October nights and I still buy old records thinking you will come around to listen with me. I bring my soul to the River ever night to clean off what you left me with.