Ghetto butterfly

As my feelings gather

Into a ball of anger

And empathy

Desolate eyes

And heartbroken mind–

Taking time with

The bees to carefully

Sift through things-

I don’t know how to

Feel 

besides

Exhausted,

Dead,

Broken.

I just want to be ok.

Taking time for myself, to heal the wounds

To plant the seeds of life again inside my soul

I want to feel the rain touch my skin

I want to run in the silent snow with you

And come back inside and make love

Until we die

silently screaming

                                    

 Do you trust the man

That ripped your heart

Out whole?

Who left without saying

Anything to a soul.

OR

Do you trust the man

That’s living in your bed.

That still can’t seem to find

 the words in his head.

  If he can’t find them now

Will he ever?

How long can one wait?

I ask as I sip my tea,

Gaze out the window just to

Count the raindrops

collect on a plate

You can’t tell me

                   Things don’t happen to you

When our eyes meet

You can’t tell me

          That my heart signing

Is a sign of relief…..

When it hasn’t sung in centuries

You make me feel safe

    you make feel good

How do you have this power?

Ability to make everything disappear

  Besides us and the moonlight            ?

I hate you for making me want to scream to the wind

 For making me search for answers in the dark winter nights

I hate you for leaving me Back then - you didn’t 

even hang me up to dry

  Younger than the sunrise- I know, but feelings don’t lie

Stars connect, we reconnect but

What am I supposed to think?

When I see you, the fire inside ignites and I can’t help but

Feel that. The touching of our souls here

Can’t lie.

Again.

If I could

I’d go back

To turn everything around

To make things better,

To kiss the wounds

And to touch your scars

I just wanted love

And maybe I was a fool

Rushing in

Being young

Not really having a home

Wanting something

I never felt before

Why do feelings happen like this?