i want to feel alive

i want to feel that first breath of air again

i want to feel my mother's shaking arms hold me again.

i want to feel what it's like to blink for the first time

to see the world all for the first time again

i want to see what it feels like to be born again

will i be only eight pounds or 115 this time?

if we were able to be reborn  what would we look like?

how would it happen?

how would we know?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation?
The best soy latte that you ever had and me.
But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

i am a child.

time will come 
and time will go
where you will hear
me everyday
where you will feel me 
in every way
i'm not just a human
i'm that surprise smile
that appeared on your face 
i'm that smell that takes 
you back to your childhood
i'm that song you cant stop humming
i'm that spider that visits in the garden
chase me back to where the 
wild things really live
send me home
i don't belong in this place
this world
i'm found running free
and happy in the woods
not here talking with humans
i'm found dancing to the wildflowers and singing
songs of freedom and love
not stuck here paying bills.
i love you so much 
but i know this place isn't for me
so please set me free.

poem

nights to remember.
places to see.
people to be.
love to make.
poems to write.
cigarettes to smoke.

you can never give back time

erasing time seems impossible, 
like dryer lint and old beers.
my mind won't stop thinking 
about us as i stir my coffee.
termites and black birds.
i yell at my cat as i watch from
a distance. memories trickle.
your eyes sparkle. time is an 
unfair item to steal from someone. 

backwards paperclip

ten dollar sunflowers.
hikes with cows.
sad morning greets me.
sunny afternoons to come.
electric keyboard clouds.
banana chips to dance.
million years to live.
one million years to cry.

yesterday sucked

i just want to hide away in my turtle shell.
i just want to be invisible, where the world
can't see me. only you can see me cus you are
human and you get this. i know we are real
humans. sometimes the world is too big
and too busy for my weirdo brain. it makes
me shake and i become weak like a branch in winter.
it makes me feel empty like Friday nights.
to the ones who can go out and conquer the day,
i reward you with 100 fish smiles.
but for people the weridos like me that don't
get this, hold tight with the wind, never look
back or forward just float.
everything will work out in the end.
i promise.