POEM.

Watch my shadow bleed as you walk away

See my aching body float above us with only

veins. See what you did to me? See what true

love does to us? I asked you but you just starred

blank into the golden horizon. The way your lips

touch my hands on a late Tuesday. The way

you move my hair to the side reminds me of 

October. Your nose makes me smile. 

just don't. 

if you believe in jesus you can walk right out my door
and if you like steak leave me.
if you believe in love at first sight, throw up on yourself
and don't ever look back.
if you believe in evil men, just walk off the side of the earth
and never again ask me to hold the door for you.

there are things stranger than a stranger. 

pretending to be here on Earth
but in reality i'm on another galaxy ride.
men with hats and swords greet me.
i play my guitar on the train.

Poem.

don't know the difference between blue and black birds

but i do know that black birds are my favorite.

sometimes they bring upon us: death, sometimes they leave us a sign.

i don't know the difference between blue and black birds. 

but i do know that black birds are my favorite. 

poem.

And show me the real you.

The one that loves flowers at night and the

One that hates when it rains on Mondays. 

I want you all to myself.

Blue horizon skies.

Sometimes I pretend to love you and sometimes I pretend to be happy.

Some days I pretend to exist and pretend to have a purpose.

Sometimes I pretend I called your mother back.

Other days I don’t want to leave my head. 

Sometimes I pretend I am dead.

Poem. 

Drawing a blank on his name

Like the page in front of my face.

Blank. Eyes that wander and

Noses that smell roses. The yellow

Man is near the window. He says

Stay. The man in white is knocking

Down my dreams and he is demanding

Work. The old lady down the street

 From me died on Christmas eve.

So make sure every time you see

A black bird to give him a hug.

And don’t forget to throw all

Your love into the wind.

And the rug outside, has my

Dead guts on it. 

Welcome. 

yellow is over passing.

humans come and go
pass through like light rain
on a Saturday morning
music sticks to my soul
brings me to my whole
makes me realize i am real
this is real
music is real.

poem.

news stands sell bombs in print
while grocery stores rob ya.
keep one penny in your left pocket for good luck.
ask my mother why she hates my guts,
take one last look.
the truth is right here.

poem 

laundry scares and 1999 hair.
my thumbprint is different from yours
my chores take up my afternoon
zoom by, tell gram i said hi
please bring me back to the salt water sea,
my bumblebee. 

happy birthday to you

 you beautiful soul

i will love you forever 

ugly hair.

crumbs that will feed a village,
one million years to survive.
teachers with noses and witches with hoses. 
expiration dates, ugly mates and black ink.
Cut your eyes, hope to die.

loops that taste like fruits

poem.
your friends are not alone
you're fucked up in the head
you are dead.

how i feel about this test i have to take later....gahhhh. someone save me 

i want to be me when i grow up.

i want to be an artist when i grow up, the kind that shows the brilliant world to the blind.
i want to be a mailman when i grow up, the kind that delivers your mail on time.
and i want to be a helper when i grow up, the kind that will feed all the hunger in the world.
i want to be a mother when i grow up, the kind that has a bond that will last forever. 
i want to be me when i grow up, the person who will always be inside my human body till the day i die.

what you aren't, perfect.

Perfect like the old man down the road.

Perfect like the fork in the road.

Perfect like the eyeballs staring at me right now.

Perfect like the best day ever.

Perfect like the meadow of us 

and the meadow of you. 

Perfect like roses with thorns. 

And you would have been perfect like he was.

Perfect like the ice cream shop down the road.

Perfect like the landscape outside my window in Brooklyn.

Perfect like I thought you were when you said you loved me. 

Perfect, is what you aren’t.

Coffee. 

Coffee makes me happy

Coffee makes me crazy

Coffee warms my soul

When it knows I am dead. 

Black Silk Coffee.

my friend anne that I work with brought in this super old book from her childhood.. she's cleaning her house out and moving down South soon.. so she's going through all the old shit in her basement.. and this book was in the mess. she brought it in today and we read it and adored all the artwork, this was my favorite page... i want the book if she tries to get rid of it i am asking her for it. 

Don't fuck with my old man, Jones.

Old man Jones

Has one eye

Wishes to die.

His family left him

His dog kept him

He has no home.

Trash bags make his windows

Boxes make an abode.

His laces don’t match.

But I guess that is the least of his worries.

Old man Jones is the nicest old man I know.

His town is Manchester.

The bus stop on Main is his home. 

Don’t fuck with Old Man Jones.

 slow motion time.

Today is stale like yesterday’s muffin

The time is dead

It just stopped

Like a tack hitting the ground

Just stopped

The tapping of the water

Just stopped

The lady typing

She just stopped too.

Today the time is still

And my mind is running

Before it. Time tells a lot

Of things and time will

Tell me that tomorrow

Is just around the corner so 

Hurry and make that food.

this morning.

Coffee bean candles.

Vanilla shaped eyes. 

The scent of morning. 

somewhere in ct....

 i was saying bye guys, to these cuties.. this one legit holds this cheese ball smile for a good 30 seconds.. and i can't stop fricken laughing. ahh!

poem

running high with nothing on my mind
behind the sunrise is where my baby is
hes holding out his hands.

i know this is weird, but i've been here before

twenty two not me.

some days i feel much older than i look

today i felt like a hundred and three.

i can sense the age through my eyes

eyes are the looking glass to this universe

i woke up and just felt awkward in my twenty

two self. my age says nothing about me. 

it's actually the opposite.

river side

cream of the crop
bubble gum drop
don't send the men
send the boys.

weirdo

sidewalk that ends
spoons that ring
fat cat meows
rugs that are worn
spiders that are born.

sea plants

near the sea
is where she used to be
near the tree
is where i used to sing
near the bee
is where i am.

see you soon

meet me on the super moon
chasin' insects till dawn
the sky here is purple
as purple as the sea
the people here love to sing.

poem.

i want to love you one million times more.
i want to kiss you like you're never coming through that door
i want to love you like you're a child
i want to smile through my ears
i want to love you one million more times.

Poem.

Everyone here has lost their minds.

Stare at the soul of this child

And you will see what life really

Means. If a butterfly has only

One wing, will he fly?

this was a youtube find from like 30 centuries ago.. and i never told you to listen.. so listen now. 

poem.

you are my secret lover

you are my secret garden

all i want is to be with you alone

i want to share all this time the Earth

gave me with you. i want to share

all the stars that space gives us

and i just want to feel you close

i want to know what it's like to 

hold you and i want to taste you

under my nails. and i want to call you

mine. i want this world to just

be ours. i want the sound of music

to fill our souls up and i want it

to take us away. no we aren't on

the ground anymore. we are floating

far far away. you are my secret

lover and i just want the world alone

with you.

"i don't know the man that's living in my head, if i don't know the women sleeping in my bed"
dave matthews

they'll keep starring.

you know that people stare
all we can do is just ignore them.
keep that bright smile on
and just ignore them
sooner rather than later
they will just go away
they will all disappear.
so don't worry about them,
keep doing you.

YOU AND ME AND ALL OUR FRIENDS SUCH A HAPPY HUMAN RACE
~DAVE MATTHEWS

circles

one way roads that lead to two towns.
while the old man is snoring it is defiantly
pouring. gardens grow out of control on
the other side of this earth. the water that i see
is clear and the weather here is different
but i know at the end of the day i can call
Tuesdays mine and we can throw away the
rest of the work week. by the dawn of
tomorrow all my thoughts will be stored
into the next thought folder and the
space where we used to meet for our midnight
kiss isn't there anymore. and heaven
is a place where no one wants to die.
but we want to know how it feels there
and i know by the looks of it, there
are stars during the day and we see
clouds full of smiles during the lame days.
don't let too much of a sweet thing kill
you, cus you know it will.

 Poem.

Cold Breath

Cold Nose

Cold Feet

Cold You

Cold Me

Cold Heart 

Cold.

Rain drops.

Days like today where it is rainy and black as a dead man’s soul outside

I just want to die. I just want to feel what it’s like to stare up at the sky

With the air in my lungs and just open eyes. I want to see what it feels like.

To know what the world looks like when you are dead.

I want to experience death upon a living earth. 

And I want to know what it feels like now. 

Poem. 

Open toed sandals, open toed heart.

Paper towels that are used and

Spoons that are like knives. Dinner

Tables with mice on them and the

Door bell is on fire. The old man across

The way is screaming my name, while the

Cats are hanging from the roof. A party in

My mouth happens, only at Thanksgiving

And the little boy I once loved, is now

Off with another girl. Tree bark and old

Men with bumble bee knees and little

Stoned mushrooms. The way she looks

At me is the same way she looks into

The death of a sunset. The train is about to

Take off, while the rocket is on its way home.

My brain works better with no morning talk

And a nights rest. My brain will create until

The day I die. Today is Tuesday and I guess that is better

Than yesterday, when it was a work week Monday. 

Cheers to the upcoming day and happiness to all.

eleven eleven sixteen. 

the news i got today makes me as blue as a dark room.

but i can't go through my day with tears in my eyes.

i just have to smile because you gave me all this

beautiful music and all these strange words that made

sense to me. you gave me hope in the world of art and

you showed me how beautiful this sick world is. but i

can't continue to cry today, i have to be as joyous as

a mother that just gave birth. i have to conquer

the day with a smile. I will try. But I can feel the

sadness creep up. I can feel the tears roll back into

my empty sad head. And Life Goes On. 

LOVE YOU FOREVER XXOO

afraid of the dark.

please don't leave me baby

please don't leave me in the dark.

don't ever leave me here alone.

alone in a corner half way across

the world.  i am afraid of the dark.

pink plate saucers.

what's the use of hiding when you know you are wrong.
as wrong as turning right on red. don't let the rats of
the city take away your dreams, ya pretty bitch. shut up
and keep pushing forward. don't worry about the past and
don't hurry the future. i know what i am saying. the letter
a only looks good in the sunlight. her toes match your nose
so you two should have a baby. while i drink some more
wine, all i think about is how satisfying the sound of dirt between
your shoe sole and the pavement sounds. leaves crunch in the
background.

people stare but you got to just ignore it.

water dripping from the stem of this hen.

the eggs roll down the beach sand

like the men hit the golden wall. let 

only stars show you the way home and

listen to each and every stranger you meet.

someday you will see what i mean when i

tell you to love everyone. and you realize

why i always wore my hair like that.

but for now just sit legs crossed violin

on full blast. while the time goes was 

slow as Mosses and as fast as an airplane.

sometimes i can't make up my mind. but

that doesn't deter me. that doesn't

take away my power to use the flower.

and that doesn't take away my love for 

this very planet, and the human population.

accept who you are and accept that 

the world only spins left on Tuesday, and 

the clouds you see outside aren't real

anymore. 

poem.

the ocean is where you can find me because i'm feeling a little blue.

the forest is where ill be when i'm free, when i'm me.

in my bed is my location when i'm dead. 

somewhere out there

polka dots swim in my eyes
the mailman is knocking on my door
but i'm not getting up to answer.
bass guitar seems harder to play
upside down. when will you
just stop and think about that sound
the sound of upside down music
created from a man with green
eyes and a bow tie. he also rides
his bicycle to work most every
day. he owns three cats and doesn't
like rats. the man with green eyes
plays like no other man. here when
you close your eyes, you will
swim in the music. while its spreading
across your soul. now all you want
to do is get up and dance to till midnight.
the green eyed man played till
he was 105.

in the arms of my women is where ill go

mother earth a lady with a sunflower soul
she must have the best taste and the
most beautiful voice across the land.

 you.

Pine cone heart.

Cold stone eyes.

Two left feet.

One huge lie.  

A dirt soul.

Poem.

When I love the lids of your eyes just smile.

When I love the color of your teeth just blink.

When I love the taste of your skin just breath.

why do you hate me now?

Untied laces, untied tops, untied love.

You said you loved me, now we don’t talk.

Confused by this, my black heart sinks to

The bottom of my human ocean.  Don’t

Say things you don’t mean. Now every

Night right before the baseball game

My eyes cry, because the picture

Reminds me of you. 

THIS IS MY FAV VERSION OF THIS SONG.

IF YOU DONT GET UP AND DANCE WHEN LISTENING YOU ARE INSANE PEOPLE!!

wooded oranges.

Blue mountain love,  black bear songs.

Ferns that are green camouflage my heart

From mean boys and jealous women.  

The future isn’t as bright as the North Star like my mother said. 

horse teeth.

Horses with manes and men that are ashamed

They’re ashamed of this life. The old toes

The crack in her soul, the wooden box heart.

Men with swords and men with love, neither are

The best.  They seek the weak and only love

The hate.  I must confess this is the truth. 

me rn...

balls deep in the van

dead tomato.

write till you die.
don't lie to me.
stop wasting my time
you little bee.

yellow leaf 

i can see the surface of one leaf.

my ears sense the tree above me gave me this leaf.

 the color seems to be yellow. 

aliens are from outer space.

hours i spend picking the inside of my minds brain
i don't know why, it just makes me insane. while the 
grill is on fire my fish ran away. phones been off the
hook since 1999 and it will stay that way. i love the 
color of your socks, they match your eyes. the girl
next door will never die.

bottles of empty love.

i planned a gluten free birthday party for tony

and a pineapple upside down cake for dinner.

she told me once and she won't say it again,

so now i don't remember how to get into

the garage. the dog is on a chain, that looks 

as old as my dead grandfather. she doesn't 

seem very happy anymore, especially ever 

since the blue birds started to disappear.

i can hear the cry of the crow in the far,

far distance, while a plane blocks my view. 

if there are two crows, the sunflowers will 

glow. if there is one

 I don't know.

this makes no fucking sense.

saying i love you after the first date kind of scares me.

holding the door for me, excites me.

long talks about nothing don't exist on my planet.

here we speak of music, love and unity.

the doors are open, so come on  in.

just don't forget your friends and bring the whiskey.

when the new grass grows in you will understand

how hard it is to mow. stars will be out tonight

along with the bees, my heart goes out to all the

creepy old men. someone has to give them love

sometimes. but it's not me, it's that redhead from

work that wears only apples and sings in peaches.

she can take care of all of them. while the elephants

scream and the lions dance. the world is on pause

while i find my pants. 

girl as dark as the moon

she wears high heels when shes home alone.
she only smokes cigarettes in the rain
and she only sleeps when it's past midnight.
don't ask her for much.

unknown

i see you with ziti eyes
i see you with a wide smile
i see you with no clothes on
i see you in the dark.

house 129. he thought we were gonna die.

the time i found an old corn field on the trail...

im obsessed with trees i think...

acorn crossing camp.

November mornings before the fog disappears.

top of the mountain view.

crisp air for any man.

when the music never ends.

when the music just takes over your body
when you feel the notes come out your finger tips.
you can taste the drum beat.
you dance with the sax and get chills.
this is real life for me.
is it for you?

poem.
pretty girls with round curls.
pretty girls with no heads.
pretty girls with brown eyes.

.
short tail.
short hair.
short you.

creepy girl

her black eyes sure glow.
the thrill of her makes my heart beat square.
mermaid hair and angel lips.

babies in swings

cats meet me in the middle.

as little as her nose.

finger nail that just grows..

mouth open wide, i can 

taste you like yesterday.

BEES & TREES.

mint candles smell my brain
purple flowers make me insane
dirt is where the worms live
i met a bird this past Tuesday.

TODAY'S MY GRAMS 70TH BIRTHDAY


we met a few laughing horses along with some meat heads.
the grass on Heaven grew purple last night.
worlds that are like never ending phone convos at midnight.
your mother is in love with my next door neighbors shoes.
foggy moons sparkle the souls of all sewer rats.

somewhere in mass with goats.

WORM SOULS.
dead dance before midnight

dark, plum, purple.

Love at first sight is real.

More real than your heart beating
to one hundred worms.

blue pens.

Juicy peaches, and untied laces

My love for you is only in my dreams.

Dreams will make you insane, if you

Never stop. The words that come from

Her mouth are as pure as rose colored

Cream and smooth as jazz on a Sunday

Don’t worry about the bushes outside

And don’t worry about all the strangers.

Liquor lips and dead fish.

Solar panels and the end of time

Right before my mind, is when the

Rocket will explode.

away from home blues.

Purple love dust. 
Puzzle piece mind.
Yellow stinging birds 
And keyboards with 
Diamonds.
Dogs with no heads, 
Scary teeth men.
Tiles on the floor,
More ancient than Egypt. 
Clouds that rain, and 
Things that blink.
Four way stop
No sleep, I want
To jump off the edge
Of the earth with you
Tonight. 
Will you
?

todays feels

Love.

Shoelace love.

Lay low love.

Dirty men love.

Old people love.

Food love.

Girl love.

love.

Dead ants.

iced coffee

iced nose

i have no thoughts upon my hose.

Throw away the small things, leave the

Living room with eight stings.

Don’t look back today.

little poem.

been so long since i caught your eye,
i'm hungry for your love. 
like a man needs his lady. 
i'm hungry for your love.

 Staple side lobe

The name of the game is not love.

And the way she shaves her legs in the dark makes me happy.

When there is rain, only white spiders come out to play

and when there is sunshine my garden is dead.

Shoes that tie and men that cry. 

It is only Wednesday. 

more stoned than the wall outside.

poem.

to think of nothing all at once.
to be alone with no lights on.
to hear no noise for miles.
to be home alone on a Sunday night.

my mother.

seems impossible to call this women my soul mate.
i think a soul mate is someone you can always have fun with.
i think a soul mate is that person you can call at two am.
i think a soul mate is someones whose arms you can call home. 
i think a soul mate is someone who can laugh at the same nothing as you.
my mother is my soul mate.

poem.

you pick me up my love,
you wake me up.
make me realize that
everyday should be a good
day to die. don't be afraid
of the bugs outside and don't 
mind the moon light.
stay for a while, sip some 
wine. have a good time.
don't think about later,
don't worry about tomorrow.
just stay with me for a while.

work.

brown leather shoes.
mr. smith approached.
nose as big as Alaska.
skinny little lips.
a mustache the color black
and no hair upon his head.
knowledge from within.

waffle cones.

blue eyed goats
and sunset hikes.
fall weekends
should never end.
favorite time to live.

poem.

paper clip mind.
one whole dime.
strawberry people dance.
three thirty thoughts.

poem.

dead love.
dead us.
dead end.

red blueberries. 

fell asleep in a bird dress.
my life is such a mess.
it's four am.
i have zero coffee. 
i just want my mother.
pink blanket naps. 
soda can caps.
itchy skull.
a five year old.
purple stars.
incomplete lines.

H8E

SQUARE.
FOOD STAMPS.
RAIN.
BRAIN.
LANE,
TWO LANES.
MY MOM'S CANE.
DON'T BE LAME.
YOU ARE TO BLAME.

sleep walk lover comes out to play
all i see is your shadow today.

poem.

Joe Cocker
take mothers advice
grocery store guts
black eye
soft rolls
lawn mower.

my finger nails are longer than your neck

up too early.

mattress love
living room fan
coughing 3:30 man

club of books

rainy brains
no name
dead chuck
stuck in the muck
bumble bees
rumble strips
BBQ.

mister man

longer than a year
shorter than a month
i just want to kiss you
all i do is miss you.

october mist.

bullet shells, young girl yells.
my mother is dead.
dump truck hairs, halloween scares.
one white sock. 

breakfast.
English Muffin smiles
coffee nose
burnt hair toast
eyes the shape of eggs
breakfast.

poem.

frogs dream. 
dogs die.
men exist.

her name was Mellrose

25 cent love
one hug
no eyes.

midnight stars
old man scars
one crow.
birds fly high
my brain is so high
splatter blood spots on the streets
it's 3 am
words are loud. 
noise is busy
i can't sleep 
watching rain in the dark
listen closely.

poem

Chilly toes and 1999

Memories from years past and years to come. 

The love I have for you stays in my left pocket 

until that night where we will meet again at dusk.

I know that will never be this year.

I want to feel the way you speak words and

I want to feel the way you show her how to love. 

That first time.  

poem

tables will turn, butter is churned. lets go to the pumpkin patch
where goats float and grey skies live forever
my favorite type of weather
bring a quarter to feed the goats and bring your mum money.
where are your boots?

her dreams so huge.

stars in her future.

love shining bright

forever.

GOING TO TAKE SOME SWEET PICS AND ILL UPLOAD THEM TONIGHT CUS I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD DO SO


.....*writing torrs to do list right now ;) *

happy.
happy to be home
happy to smell
happy to blink
happy to breathe
happy to love.
happy.

poem
new clouds with yesterday's air
todays weather seems great
with some sunshine and a side
of love. forgetting the things
that don't matter
but I remember to take the
dog out when i get home.
writing lyrics down like
they will become something one
day. alive.

poem
riding on a wave
my mind is underwater
the sink is overflowing.
today went down the drain

you could tell in his eyes that he loved her so. every time she'd smile the world would shine. she had the ability to make even the worse days ok. her soft skin and button nose, her lashes went on for what felt like a century. those lips, don't get him started. he would dream about her lips until he was dead. her eyes spoke wisdom, not only from her life but wisdom within. every day was a good day she had no time to cry or waste. she lived as if every day could have been the last. she would cherish the ground he stepped on. just one look and she was swept right off the ground. the lovely words he would sing to her to put her to sleep. he always let her fall asleep first. she loved everything about him, especially his laugh. he makes her feel amazing, she knows she is so lucky to come home to him. one day she will be found dead on the living room floor with her smile in her right hand and her heart in the other. sometimes you can't have everything.

.

why do i feel like the world is ending?
like tomorrow doesn't exist.
why can't i smell the fresh flowers
at this very moment?
when will this stop?
do i have something wrong in my mind?
are the thoughts not processing
in the correct order?

nasty looks make their way around the dinner table tonight

while mother is in the kitchen slaving away.

relentless little children screaming

finger nails clipped. 

mashed potato boats and dinner rolls.

push your chair in before you leave.

watch the world die

have you ever felt so low where drowning seems fun?
have you ever seen death upon the pavement?
have you ever loved someone that doesn't love you back?
blood is red.

chew some more sleep bubblegum. 
someone needs to invent sleep that i can eat
i have so much shit to get done in one day
it makes no sense to me why someone hasn't
done this already. maybe i should.

baggy jeans

welfare christmas

negative change

no love

low life

hate.

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF EVERCLEAR TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
You had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know...

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame

love sick 

Dirt under rugs like my love for you

The blue bird is bothering me again

My brain is on fire

The bench in the park still has our name on it. 

little

Captain hook

Dead ladies

Old socks 

Fingernails.

 poem

I’m laughing right now cus the rent is late and the love of my life is finally dead

He ran away to a castle in the music clouds and now his soul is facing upward

Starring at me right now

I loved the way he loved me and I love the way he looks

The way his hair is there and the two lines

I love the color of dark eyes and silly smiles

The way his mouth will move just when I go

In for a midnight kiss

Tonight is the night my life will never

End and I will have to realize one

Day that this is it 

and I have to be Happy with that

i want to feel alive

i want to feel that first breath of air again

i want to feel my mother's shaking arms hold me again.

i want to feel what it's like to blink for the first time

to see the world all for the first time again

i want to see what it feels like to be born again

will i be only eight pounds or 115 this time?

if we were able to be reborn  what would we look like?

how would it happen?

how would we know?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation?
The best soy latte that you ever had and me.
But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

i am a child.

time will come 
and time will go
where you will hear
me everyday
where you will feel me 
in every way
i'm not just a human
i'm that surprise smile
that appeared on your face 
i'm that smell that takes 
you back to your childhood
i'm that song you cant stop humming
i'm that spider that visits in the garden
chase me back to where the 
wild things really live
send me home
i don't belong in this place
this world
i'm found running free
and happy in the woods
not here talking with humans
i'm found dancing to the wildflowers and singing
songs of freedom and love
not stuck here paying bills.
i love you so much 
but i know this place isn't for me
so please set me free.