Tuesday


Alone is how I feel, all the time.

I stand outside my car in the rain.
No hat, no rain boots, just me in the rain.                    
When I open my door a receipt is seen dancing in the wind.
Not mine but I pick it up to recycle this little dude.
I stand as tall as I can with nothing in between.
The Nikes I have on right now are older than my age and
My car is leaking fluids. I can feel nothing.
Right now I can feel absolutely nothing.  The rain touches
My left shoulder, it graces my nose. But I can’t feel it.
I think I am finally realizing this. I think the thought just hit me.
It doesn’t matter where I am.
It doesn’t matter who I am with, I am alone and blank.
Blank like the canvas in front of the teacher.
I can see the man smile next to me and I don’t feel it.
I am alone in a world full of greedy humans. I am alone
In a place where no one can see me, they don’t understand.
As the gum sticks to the pavement in the morning rain,
I can see my life going down the drain.
I can pretend to be happy, even in the darkest of times.
I can pretend to like you and all around us.
But I just found out that I will forever be alone.
Like the one piece of grass that grew through the pavement.
Alone. I can have a man and a home, but all I feel is alone.
For the man, I feel sorry; I know he will never know. But he loves me
He is stuck here without me. My body lies next to
Him in bed, but I still feel empty.



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